Beautiful Dreamer

Hey, isn't this easy!

 

I’m scared that if I stop being mad, and I start being your friend again, we’ll end up right back where we left off.

Stop being a bitch on purpose. I love you, but honestly. You know you’re making me mad when you go on and on, so why do you keep doing it?

You’re a better driver than me. Next time, I’ll follow you.

I had better get used to sharing you, I guess. In the respect, this year’s going to be harder for me.

I’m glad life is finally good for you! You have no idea!

The only reason I hate you is that I’m jealous. Okay? Plus, you’re kind of a bitch, but that doesn’t really bother me.

 I want in your head! I bet it’s crazy in there.

Yep. Our lovechild definitely brought us closer together. Haha!

You guys are my new project. So perfect together.

You are the prettiest and sweetest girl ever. Really. I’m so glad we’re friends.

Super excited for next year.

Same old story, isn’t it? You’re not supposed to be the girl that sits by the phone, so when it rings, you don’t answer.

And you honestly wonder why I'm never aound.

I’ve been in denial. It all adds up, and it all makes sense. It is truly heartbreaking what fame and money can do to even the most down to earth people. These amazing little children are never going to recover from the life that you’ve created for them and the examples you’ve set.

Team Jon…and Alexis and Aaden and Joel and Cara and Mady and Leah and Hannah and Collin. <3

 <3 <3 <3

All I can do is try to be your friend. Everyone thinks I am out of my mind, but I’m really hoping that it helps you. Maybe all you need is a friend...I'm trying. Really, I am. 

Honey, you better get your priorities straight or you going to end up feeling like you did last year. You are so concerned about your own life that you are taking people, who may or may not be here next year, for granted. You don’t want that to happen again do you? I know I don’t.

I am really thankful that I am not a single mom...just saying.

 

Dear Mr Douche Bag,

 

Today is a happy day. Today, I realized that I don’t care. Of course, I’ll relapse a couple times, but at least I don’t care to care anymore.  I’m done being done. Some goodbyes are meant to be said, and this is one of them. Thank you for teaching me a stupid, but valuable, lesson.  Have a nice life.

 

Sincerely,

The Bitch
 

You know, the only reason I even bothered to show up is you...Oh well, at least I have that purple streak in my hair that I've always wanted.

I don’t love you, I’m just passing the time, you could love me, if I knew how to lie….Well, it just so happens that I do know how to lie. I lied. Shit.

Lately, I feel like you’ve been screwing me over for a guy. Call it jealously. Call it whatever you will, but I miss you…

I love you. L-O-V-E. You are an amazing friend! So as a friend, I am going to give you a piece of advice. Don’t, under any circumstances, name your next cat Kirk.

I’m glad we have become better friends.

One day...very soon, I am going to tell you all the things that I need to tell you. They are going to hurt you, but I give up. You need to hear them from somebody, and I need to yell in your face. I have never ever been as mad as I am at you. What set it off? You did, jackass!

I already have the name of our children picked out, not because I like you-because I just like the way your last name sounds…

Do you think we’ll still be friends when we’re dead? I will if you will.

I know.  God, I know, and I also know that I can’t fix it. That I can’t talk it out. That you have to figure it out in time. I just wish I could make it better.

I wish you were as stupid as you act. I think it’s best you leave me alone. I hate you. No, I really really really don’t like you.

You don't come around here much anymore. I miss you and your bear hugs.   

"As You Cry"
 The Hush Sound

I'm a half-hearted fool
With a heart that's broke in two
A quarter and a kiss is all
it should be worth to you

I must be the last of my kind
'cause you treasure me despite all the signs
The love has disappeared and
Darling you shouldn't even try

[Chorus:]
After every fight we always wonder what we're fighting for
Beat me up and mark me you you stole me but I am not yours
As you cry, I wanna lie
Say I love you so, darlin' even though I don't
There's no easy way to ease the pain
Roses and the tulips have withered away, they had their day
So it's time to say goodnight and goodbye

You're so bright that you shine right through
All the problems that I always try to lay on you
Won't you take me off darling?
And get some air in this rooms

I can't believe a what I can
I hold inside of my hand
Well end up partying and
Might decide to mess up the plan
I'd be a lying if I told you that we would work you

[Chorus]

Nobody's singing about you any more
You thought you heard it well you must've heard wrong
It's my business and that's alright
Don't you see that?

As you cry, I wanna lie
Say I love you so, darlin' even though I don't
There's no easy way to ease the pain
Roses and the tulips have withered away, they had their day
So it's time to say goodnight and goodbye

Goodbye...

I just want to give up…on everything. I’m sick of it all.

Every. Single. Thing.

Fuck the world!

Okay, that’s all. Have a nice night! :)

i am sick of your double standards, and I am sick of you throwing a huge hissy fit every time i question it. GAH! HONESTLY!?!?!?

"Breaking up with your breakdowns
 Standing tall in your white gown
 You're going nowhere, you're going fast...
 If you can't love babe, then you can't hurt"
-Rest, Shame, Love

Let the summer rain bring rest and shame and love...

I really wish that I was that person that didn't follow rules. I wish I didn't care. I wish I did more stupid stuff. It sounds bad, but I can't change how I feel about the subject. Bottom line: I don't want to act like a grown up. I want to act like a teenager. I just wonder why I spend so much time picking up other people's pieces...Who's going to pick up mine?
I don't want to seem whiney and ticked off. It’s just a thought. My instinct has always been to take care of people…even if they are not my people to take care of. I don't mind people coming to me when they have issues. I just wonder if they will have the patience to put up with me when I fall apart. It’s happened before. It didn’t go over well, not really. It freaks people out to think that the person they look to for answers can’t even answer her own questions.  

This isn’t about any one person. It is just a thought….I know if I really need someone to talk to, all of you will be there. It’s just a thought…a feeling rather.

You have gone through more than anyone your age should, but you smile more than anyone your age does.  I admire that about you. It is actually the thing I admire most about you.

 

“Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.” –James 5:16

God is big. We are small. God is big, and our problems are small. Still, we make a big deal out of our problems. We make them this huge task, and, though we try our hardest, we are never able to control and tame the problems that eat away at us. We always seem to forget that our best and greatest weapon is prayer.

So I am going to pray about it, about everything. For you. For him. For her. For every person reading this, and for every person not.  

We can’t fix things by ourselves. We need God. That’s why he’s here.

"Where I Stood"

I don't know what I've done  
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none
~
There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening
~
See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside
~
And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do
*
'Cos I don’t know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

why is it that we always want what we can't have?
why is it the empathy sucks so much?
why is it that i have been listening to fall out boy more?
hmm...i can answer the last one, but the other two are just over my head.